There are lots of things I have not done in my life. I know this. I can find an excuse to not do just about anything. I never called them ‘excuses.’ I called them ‘reasons.’ Well, there is a fine line between the two. I haven’t yet found that balance, but today was the first day I said I was going to do something and did it. I shouldn’t say it like that. It was the first time in a very loooong time.
I have been a fan of Dave Ramsey for quite some time. I may have mentioned that in the past. While listening to him, I was introduced to an author named Jon Acuff. Jon writes a blog, has written a couple of books, and has become a speaker – all of which pertain to doing what you love. That doesn’t really doesn’t cover everything he writes about, but more or less sums it up.
Anyway, he wrote a book called Start: Punch Fear in the Face. I read a bit of it, but didn’t really go ‘all in.’ I put it down (which is strange to say, since it was a Kindle version that I could read at any time on my phone or computer) and didn’t pick it up again for quite some time.
When I finally picked it up again, I took a more open minded approach and tried to understand just how I could apply what was in the book to my situation. It didn’t really click. I wasn’t seeing specifics. Nothing to tell me exactly what I needed to do to ‘punch fear in the face.’ I read what I could and figured that I was done. There was nothing further to read, and I still didn’t know what to do.
From there, I just kind of let it go. Until I heard that Mr. Acuff was going to do something called the Start Experiment. I didn’t know what it was, but I thought I would check it out. I lurked on the Facebook page and got some emails that didn’t really say much, but were good enough to read. Again, I wasn’t getting much direction, but there were now some guidelines. I liked that.
Recently, I started looking at the emails again and it’s making more sense. So, I took a step today that punched fear in the face.
I went to an AA meeting.
It doesn’t sound all that impressive, and it’s really not a huge thing when seen in writing. 6 little words. Really little words. But for me, it was one of the most daunting things I have ever had the displeasure of fearing. Why did I fear it? Right now, I have no idea, however, before I stepped into the room – I had some crazy visions of what the meeting would be like.
I pictured a dark, dank and dingy hall – concrete walls, painted grey or beige, old men and women mainlining coffee, chain smoking and coughing. I am thankful that it was NOTHING like that. It was a warm, inviting room. Bright, almost cheery. (I say almost because it was raining.) It was a women’s only meeting, which made me feel less embarrassed, and more welcomed. There were all age ranges and types. It was comforting. I felt less isolated than I have felt in some time. I didn’t have to say anything about myself if I didn’t want to. (I’m shy, so I liked this. Maybe tomorrow.) I heard stories from others that I related to, that could have been from my own life. I met people who have been in my shoes. They all started somewhere, right?
In all, it was the hardest, and possibly best, decision I have made in some time. It feels good to punch fear in the face. Here’s hoping that there are more punches to be thrown!