Tag Archives: Dream

Perfectionism and People Pleasing

I have done a lot of reading in my life, and a lot of learning. Over time, and the mostly over the past year, I have learned a lot about myself and how I have lived.  I will let you know that I have been reading a lot of The FlyLady website, as well.

What I have found out is that I have always been a perfectionist.  I never thought so, since I didn’t stress out over not getting an A in school, or that my hair was parted off center.  But I did want to make sure that what I did, I did well – and usually to either impress someone else (parents, friends, teachers, etc.) or just stay in good graces and under the radar.  I didn’t want to upset anyone and I didn’t like conflict. I still don’t.

I always thought that changing was overwhelming. So then, I did nothing.  I need to change that cycle and follow some of the baby steps that are out there.  I have to believe that taking things slowly is the best way to build habits.  I don’t have to do everything, all at once, immediately.  Slow and steady wins the race.

2015 is beginning to look up.

Today’s list of what I am thankful for/ proud of…

1.  The FlyLady website

2.  Evernote – I love lists and this is helping me remember what I need to do each day

3.  I played around with YouTube and learned a bit about it – but not yet how to create a channel under my account (if (possible).

4.  The love I have for my son – and I cannot wait to see and talk to him soon!

5.  Having a job,even if it is part time, so that I can give more to my family.

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Do dreams mean anything?

Since I can remember, I have had dreams.  I don’t always remember them, but some are so vivid, and so real, that they are tough to forget.  Some are nightmares, while others are comforting – but they all linger just outside of my memory when I wake up the next day.

My husband absolutely loves when I wake up and say, “Oh, I had such a strange dream last night.”

Commence eye-rolling now.

dreaming of christmas

dreaming of christmas (Photo credit: Haley Redshaw)

It’s not that he doesn’t want to hear about the dream, it’s just that I don’t remember everything, so it’s all broken up and discombobulated.  In my mind, I’m describing exactly what it was all about – but I’m a horrible storyteller.  What I remember to be a beautiful, rolling green field with wildflowers blooming in the color of rainbows, glistening in the morning dew sounds like a green patch in the park after a rain, strewn with garbage.  Yeah, I’m that good.

I used to try to write down my dreams, or at least what I could remember of them, so that I could look in my ‘dream book’ and see what they might mean.  They never made any sense.  Instead of convincing myself that I was going crazy, I decided to discontinue the research and just enjoy what it is that I could remember.

The older I get, the more it amazes me what our brains subconsciously retain.   For example, I recently finished reading a book on the origins of some Mafia families.  Since then, most of my dreams have had a 1920’s – 50’s feel to them.  Sometimes, I wake up and have to ask myself, “When did I see/hear about a monkey holding up a bookstore with a banana?”  Goodness knows, but it made it’s way to my brain somehow!!!  Other dreams are of memories – recent and long ago.  Those are the craziest.  It always surprises me to dream of people I haven’t seen, heard of, or spoken to in ten or more years.  It’s nice, though.  They make me feel like the past isn’t quite so far away.

Lately, the main theme of my dreams have been water-related.  Usually because either I’m dehydrated or have to pee really bad.  This baby likes to use my bladder as a trampoline sometimes, or a pillow at the very least.

Maybe that’s a sign that the dreams I have been having *do* have some sort of base in reality.  I guess I will have to start keeping track again.  I’ll have to put a dream book on my Christmas List for Santa!

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