I Am Not a Cutter

Cutting is a serious problem, I know that.  I am not making fun, nor am I promoting it in any way.  I just think I now have a better idea of why people may cut themselves.


Yesterday, I woke up after another restless night.  I have had a lot on my mind lately, and that only stacks with my insomnia.  It seems that my brain did not get the memo that my body sent when it finally gave in to sleep.  It had been working all night, and my motor functions reflected that in the morning.


I was hungry, so I cut up some cheese and decided on slicing an apple.  We have some new Paula Deen knives, so they are pretty sharp – which I knew.  It was one of those scenes that you see happen – in slow motion – just before it happens.  The plate I was trying to cut it on was rather unstable, but instead of moving it to a better surface, I picked up the apple and began to cut it.


And then it happened.


The slicing wasn’t going as easy as I would have hoped (DUH!), and the last bit frustrated me, so I pushed the blade harder than I should have – straight into the meaty part of my hand, right below my index finger.  I saw it happen.  I watched it.  And for a few seconds, I wasn’t sure it had actually happened.  Right up until I felt the sting and saw the blood begin to flow a bright red down the palm of my hand.

My boo-boo 1

Like this, only in the middle of my thumb and index (Photo credit: Thom Watson)

It only took a second, and lasted probably a minute – but in that minute, I felt relief.  I wasn’t thinking about the chaos going on in my life right now, or the preparations we still need to make for the baby, or the fact that we are living with my insane Mother In Law.


No, I felt nothing but the twinge of pain and that was it.  Can you believe it?  I’m not positive that the feeling is exactly what cutters feel, but it’s gotta be close.  However, I truly feel that anyone who has a problem with cutting should seek help, as there are other options to relieving stress and pain.  Even if it’s just a friend or relative that is told, it’s a step in the right direction!


(Note:  I use the Zemanta plug-in for my blog writing, and out of this entire post – the only pictures and related articles I am shown have to do with Paula Deen, her cooking and her weight loss.  I am a little saddened by that…)






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